The real reasons why Boys Don’t Like Wrestling Girls
Let’s have a real talk, girl to girl—or mom to daughter, if you’ll allow me. Wrestling is one of the most empowering, physically demanding sports out there. You step onto that mat with nothing but your training, your heart, and your grit. And yet, time and time again, we see the same old hesitation from boys when they find out they’re about to wrestle a girl.
You know the look—the wide eyes, the awkward shuffle, maybe even a whispered, “Wait, I have to wrestle her?”
In their mind, they are probably going, "Oh great, now I'm going to lose the match because I'm going to wrestle a girl."
Or something along those lines.
So what’s the deal? Why don’t some boys want to wrestle girls?
“I Don’t Want to Hurt Her”
Oh, sweetie. That’s cute. I mean, bless their hearts. But let’s be real—girls are tough. Not made of glass. And have probably taken harder hits at practice than most of these boys have ever seen.
Boys have this idea that they’re just soooo much stronger. And sure, at higher weight classes, the difference in muscle mass might show. But when you’re in the same weight class? Especially in the lower weight class, it’s game on. Girls have speed, flexibility, balance, and some of the most beautiful technique you’ll ever see on a mat.
You’re not asking for special treatment. You’re asking for a fair match. And if they think they need to go easy on a girl, that’s their first mistake.
The Real Fear: Losing to a Girl
Here’s the not-so-secret second reason: “I don’t want to lose to a girl.”
There it is.
End of story.
It's out.
Let’s be real. A lot of boys have grown up with the message that they’re supposed to be stronger, tougher, better. So when they get pinned by a girl—especially in front of their teammates or parents—it shakes them. It’s not about the loss. It’s about the story that loss tells them about themselves.
But here’s the truth: a loss is a loss. A win is a win. The scoreboard doesn’t care about your gender, and neither should the sport. If you trained harder, stayed sharper, and outwrestled him? You earned that win. Full stop.
(And if he gets emotional about it? Well, offer him a tissue and remind him you have extras in your gym bag.)
This toxic way of thinking needs to stop.
Is It Fair for Girls to Wrestle Boys?
Let me tell you what’s not fair: being told you can’t wrestle just because someone doesn’t like the optics. Wrestling is already fair by design. Weight classes make sure everyone’s close in size. The rules are the same for everyone. The clock ticks the same. The mat feels the same.
If anything, girls often start behind because they get fewer early opportunities. Fewer coaches invest in them. Fewer teams exist for them. So when a girl shows up to compete with the boys, it’s not about fairness—it’s about catching up and proving she belongs.
The Awkwardness Factor
Another reason boys hesitate? They're just… uncomfortable. Wrestling is physical. It’s sweaty. It’s close contact. Some boys get weird about that when it involves a girl.
But here’s the thing: this isn’t a date. This isn’t middle school slow dancing. It’s a sport. When you’re on the mat, you’re not “a girl.” You’re an athlete. A competitor. And if they can’t see past that, maybe they’re the ones not mature enough for the match.
You didn’t show up for awkward glances. You showed up to compete. It's you vs them, and that's it. If they can't control their thoughts, show them what color of mat looks like up close.
Outside Pressure (That’s Not Your Job to Fix)
Sometimes it’s not even the boys. It’s the adults around them. Coaches who don’t want to deal with the “drama.” Parents who worry what people will think. Teammates who make jokes in the locker room.
But none of that should be your burden. You didn’t come here to manage someone else’s insecurity, fix society's toxicity, and backwards way of thinking. You came to wrestle. You’re not a controversy—you’re an athlete. The best way to quiet the noise? Wrestle hard. Wrestle smart. Let your wins do the talking.
Girls Don’t Need Permission to Belong
The mat doesn’t ask if you’re a boy or a girl. It asks if you’ve got the guts, the skills, and the heart to show up and give it everything. And from what I’ve seen? Girls like you have all three.
You’re not asking for favors. You’re asking for the chance to compete like everyone else. And when a boy hesitates, just remember—it’s not about you. It’s about him not being ready to see what a determined girl can do.
Every match you wrestle pushes the sport forward. Every time you pin a boy, or even just make him sweat, you’re rewriting the story of what wrestling looks like.
Final Thoughts
If you’re reading this as a female wrestler, just know—there are people like me cheering you on from every corner of that gym. We see how hard you work. We see the way you carry yourself when the spotlight hits. And win or lose, we are so proud of what you represent.
So when that boy hesitates, or groans, or says something silly like “I don’t want to hurt her,” just smile. Then go out there and show him what toughness really looks like.
And if you pin him in under 30 seconds? Well, maybe buy him a Gatorade afterward. It’s only fair.
